So! This weekend I got to be on Red Eye on the Fox News Channel, and I also got a nice little blurb on the front page of the Chicago Tribune “Books” section. I attach a scan of the Tribune piece at the end of this post.
When I went to tape the Fox News thing Friday night, there was a mix-up, and I found I had been given the wrong address (a hotel). I got the address of the Fox studio and hurried over (it was all in the Loop) only to find that the Fox local news and Fox News Channel are two separate offices in different buildings. Anxious and running late, I took a cab over to the Fox News Channel building. It was cold and rainy, and by the time I got to the right TV studio my nose was bright red from the cold. They put makeup on me (with great attention to the nose), gave me an earpiece and a lavalier, and rushed me in front of the camera. The interview started almost instantly, and even though I was still out of breath and frazzled from running around downtown Chicago trying to find the right building, I thought I did really well. My “Tupak Chopra” line always kills (as it did that evening), and I made fun of John McCain holding his arms like a zombie without being too mean about it.
All in all, an excellent weekend!
Final thought: If you don’t usually wear makeup, remember to wash it off before you go to bed. I hadn’t worn makeup since playing the Tin Man in a 5th Grade play. I fell asleep with it on that night, and accidentally rubbed some of it into my eye, which really hurt.
Tonight (a.k.a. “early tomorrow morning”), I will appear on the Red Eye show on the Fox News Channel at 3am EST, 2am CST to talk about zombies. If you’re a night-owl or an early-riser, please feel warmly invited to tune in and check it out.
On October 24, I will appear on Red Eye on the Fox News Channel to discuss zombies and other scary things. Red Eye is the Fox News Channel’s overnight show, which I think runs from 3am-4am EST. I am excited about the appearance, as I haven’t done much TV.
I think you’re not supposed to say that Fox News is “the conservative news network,” especially if you’re going to be appearing on it, but I think that there are many ways in which conservative politics are strongly aligned with the politics of zombies.
To wit, conservatives and zombies:
Are both in favor of less government intervention–whether it’s liberal senators who want to “tax rich people” or federal anti-zombie shock troops who want to “destroy all zombies on sight using machine guns and rocket propelled grenades” so they will be”wiped out forever.” Both zombies and conservatives see big government as way too involved in their lives (or “lives”).
Are both in favor of less regulation. So what if a factory owner would rather not pay his workers a minimum wage, ensure that they have safe working conditions, or be censured when the products produced in his factories “kill people.” It’s his factory, so it’s none of your business, federal government!! Right? Zombies likewise get annoyed when the government wants to “intervene” and “regulate” the eating of people. What business it is of Washington D.C. if I want to eat a guy’s brain in Pittsburgh? C’mon dude, just get the government off our backs.
Both style themselves the victims of a liberal media bias–whether it’s Keith Olberman characterizing false statements as “lies,” or a live-remote news reporter calling an approaching group of zombies a “murderous threat to humanity” and a “danger to all that is good and decent.” It’s like, woah, you’re being super-biased there, Mr. Reporter. Whatever happened to being objective? Weren’t you supposed to learn that stuff in journalism school?
Both are for state’s rights. Especially the right to eat somebody’s brain.
Anyhow, tune in on October 24 to see what happens!!